For my family, Gotcha Day is one of deep celebration. Not only did my child escape the deep neglect and abuse that he had been experiencing his entire life, but our Gotcha Day signifies a day of love. As my husband and I traveled to Bulgaria to pick up our tiny three-year-old after adoption, we had our biological two year old and six month old strapped to our backs. Our little family had stepped out in faith, following a calling that many said was crazy, and, as we traversed a foreign country with “3 under 3”, we knew that day was one to celebrate. Our new son finally had a family, love, adequate food and water, and the medical care that he would need. He would no longer be ignored, and he would no longer be stuck within the walls of a crib for the majority of the day. Within a minute’s change, he instantly had the opportunity to learn to love, to care, to walk, to talk, to chew food – things that I can guarantee you I took for granted before that day. That day also signified a day of growth for our other children – they now had another brother who will end up teaching them more than they will ever realize. Our little family had been united, and we were all there to celebrate the beginning of everything new.

We also use our Gotcha Day as a day to celebrate the heritage of our son’s birth country. Though we are not a multi-cultural family any more than we were before, we are now a multi-ethnic family and love to rejoice in that. So, we tend to try Bulgarian foods, and look at photos of our pick up trip. Though our son isn’t developmentally old enough to actively participate in celebrating where he comes from, we will always choose to cherish where he was born. 

But, Gotcha Days aren’t always roses and butterflies. For a child from trauma, especially one who is chronologically and/or developmentally older and can cognitively remember pieces of their past, a Gotchaversary may be one of heartache. To an adoptive family, Gotcha Day is full of smiles and photos. But, to the adopted child, it is often full of confusion, fear, and sadness. Everything they’ve ever known has been taken from them, and they are now with a family that most likely doesn’t look like them or speak the same language as they do. Gotcha Day can bring back those feelings of nervousness and fear, along with memories of neglect, abuse, mistreatment, etc. It can be a painful experience for a child who is still grieving their past. Even my son, who was too young and too mistreated to remember specifics, has his past intertwined into every minute of his day and even cried when eating Bulgarian food months after coming home. Trauma rewires the brain, and a Gotcha Day doesn’t wire it back.

So, whether you choose yes or no to a Gotcha Day celebration, always choose to celebrate family. Whether you go out on your Gotchaversary to an ethnic restaurant to celebrate your child’s history, or you go to a ballgame and eat a hotdog to be as American as possible, do it together. Gotcha Day is really just a day to celebrate love and family after all.

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1. Precious Cargo

A “Precious Cargo” theme is so adorable I could scream. While it does come off a little more international than domestic, I think you could spin it and make it work for your own story fairly easy. Including super cute suitcases and a ton of vintage elements, this party would be Pinterest ready in no time. Including globes, “baby’s breath” to represent a new addition to your family, maps, and the sweetest treats you can find will make a Gotcha Day party celebration one you would never forget.

2. It’s O-FISH-AL

Whether you celebrate the day you passed court or the day your domestic adoption is finalized, running with an “O-FISH-AL” party idea, it would be well worth the dive. A fish family would be the perfect party, incorporating orange and blue touches everywhere. It would be especially adorable if you adopted a little one—they love things that swim.

3. We Found the Missing Piece

We did a puzzle fundraiser for our own adoption, and I’m sure many of you did, too. If you did, this would be a perfect way to celebrate your Gotcha Day. Having puzzle piece details everywhere really helped tie in the goal of completing the puzzle you chose during your adoption journey. Displaying the puzzle at the party would be a perfect touch showing how many people prayed, loved, and helped bring your baby home.

4. Born in Our Hearts

Around adoption circles, the quote “Born not from our flesh, but born in our hearts; you were longed for and wanted and loved from the start” was most likely something that followed you throughout your journey. Having a “Born in Our Hearts” themed Gotcha Day celebration would be an adorable way to celebrate your new family being together forever. Plus, shopping for decorations would be easy if you were able to stock up around Valentine’s Day. 

5. We’re Wild About You

The theme would be especially perfect if you added your new child into an already large family. “We’re Wild About You” theme, with lots of zoos and animal details would make any child feel celebrated and adored. What a fun way to commemorate your big day as a family.

6. Country Celebration Day

If you want a way to keep your child’s birth country and culture alive, this could be a great way to incorporate that into your yearly celebrations, especially when you adopted an older child internationally, he may still feel very connected to his birthplace. Finding a local restaurant that cooks food from his birth country or even learning and cooking a recipe as a family could be a great way to celebrate together. Food often unites families, so why not use food as your celebratory agent that day, too?

7. Staycation Day

If everyone has busy lives, maybe your family’s perfect Gotcha Day celebration is a day at home, hanging out together. Cooking food, playing games, and watching movies all day together as a family may be your perfect way of celebrating the day you became a forever family. Big parties aren’t for every family, so a small “family party” day, where everyone stays at home, with their phones and computers off, and enjoys each other’s company, may be just what you needed.

Celebrating Gotcha Day isn’t for every family, but if you do choose to, it can be a super fun way to commemorate the day you became a forever family. Keep it fun, keep it light, and make sure good food is involved. Your family will surely love some of these ideas. Happy Gotcha Day!

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